You meet someone and instantly, something clicks. It’s electric. Deep. You feel “seen.” It’s
almost like you’ve known them forever. And part of you thinks, this must be love.
But what if what you’re feeling isn’t love at all?
What if it’s familiarity… with dysfunction?
Let me get real with you. I repeated the same patterns for years, attracted to people who felt
like “home,” even when that home was built on emotional landmines. If you’ve ever felt drawn
to toxic or narcissistic partners and thought, Why do I keep ending up here?, you’re not alone.
And you’re not broken.
You’re responding to an old blueprint.
For many of us who’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, especially in childhood, our nervous
systems got wired to believe that love means chaos, emotional neglect, walking on eggshells, or
having to earn affection. So when someone comes along who mirrors that energy, it doesn’t
always register as danger. It registers as familiar. And our brains? They crave the familiar, even
when it hurts.
The truth is, we don’t fall for the person. We fall for the pattern.
And that’s why healing your inner child is not just important, it’s essential.
That little you, the one who wanted to be loved, who was silenced, who learned that staying
small was safer, she’s still inside. She’s the one who keeps reaching for what feels normal, even
when it’s unhealthy. And until you sit with her, hear her, and begin to meet her unmet needs,
she’ll keep leading the way.
For me, the turning point was when I stopped trying to “fix” the people I was dating, and
started looking inward. I asked myself the hard questions:
● Why do I keep choosing people who don’t choose me?
● What part of me thinks I need to prove my worth to be loved?
● Am I recreating my childhood pain hoping to finally get a different ending?
Once I realized my subconscious was picking partners who echoed my earliest wounds,
everything changed. I stopped looking for closure from them, and started offering it to myself.
Healing your inner child isn’t about blaming your past. It’s about understanding it, so you can
stop repeating it.
It’s learning how to recognize when you’re being triggered and responding from an old
emotional wound.
It’s setting boundaries, not to push people away, but to protect the parts of you that were
never protected before.
It’s choosing to love yourself in the ways no one ever taught you.
Holistic healing practices helped me access that deep level of work. Art therapy, somatic
breathwork, and meditation weren’t just trendy tools, they were lifelines. They gave me safe,
creative, and body-centered ways to process emotions that had lived in silence for far too long.
And yes, the process was raw. There were tears. There were relapses into old habits. But there
was also breakthrough. Little moments when I realized I was no longer shrinking. When I could
say no without guilt. When I felt safe being seen, not for what I could offer, but for who I truly
was.
So, if you’re still caught in cycles that feel all too familiar, pause. Breathe. And ask yourself: Am I
living my story or replaying someone else’s?
You have the power to write something new. You get to decide what love looks like now. You
get to choose partners, friendships, and a life that reflects the healed version of you, not the
hurt one.
Healing your inner child isn’t a cute self-help slogan. It’s sacred work. It’s fierce and tender and
freeing. And it leads to the most powerful thing of all: self-trust.
Because once you start trusting yourself, you stop settling. You stop proving. And you start
becoming.
You don’t need to keep finding “home” in old wounds.
You get to create a new home, within yourself. One built on safety, truth, and real love.
If my story resonates with you, The Silent Abuse is where I poured it all out, my past, my
patterns, my healing. It’s not polished or sugar-coated, but it’s honest. Just like this journey.
And if you’re feeling ready, I invite you to keep exploring with me. This isn’t about fixing
yourself, because you were never broken. It’s about finding yourself again.
And this time, you’re not doing it alone.
