Here’s something we don’t talk about enough: leaving a toxic relationship doesn’t
automatically set you free. Sure, you walked away, but now what? If you’ve ever found
yourself drawn to people who were emotionally unavailable, critical, or wildly inconsistent,
it’s not just bad luck. It’s a pattern. And patterns have roots.
Mine went all the way back to childhood.
I grew up in a home where love came with terms and conditions. Where being “good”
meant staying quiet, needing little, and never making waves. It shaped me, how I saw
myself, how I loved, how I trusted. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was being trained to
accept emotional scraps and call it a connection.
I share a lot of this in my book, The Silent Abuse. Because what happens behind closed doors
doesn’t just fade when you grow up, it follows you into boardrooms, friendships, and, yes,
romantic relationships. I became successful. Outwardly confident. But inside? I was still
hustling for approval. Still waiting for someone to love me enough to make me feel whole.
Sound familiar?
If you’ve been there, or if you’re there now, let me say this clearly: you’re not too much,
you’re not broken, and you’re definitely not alone. So many of us end up chasing love that
looks just like the hurt we grew up with. Not because we want pain, but because it feels
familiar. Safe, even. Until it doesn’t.
Here’s the truth that changed everything for me: you can’t fix your childhood through
someone else. Healing isn’t about finding the right person to fill the gaps, it’s about learning
to stop abandoning yourself.
That’s where the real work begins. The unlearning. The re-parenting. The turning inward
instead of outward.
For me, that work got real when I started listening to the version of myself I had buried, the
younger me who just wanted to feel seen and safe. Through inner child healing, through art
therapy, through deep reflection, I stopped outsourcing my worth. I stopped waiting for
someone else to love me the way I needed to love myself.
It wasn’t tidy. It wasn’t instant. But it was powerful.
I’ve dedicated my life now to helping others walk this path, not as a guru with all the
answers, but as someone who gets it. Through coaching, workshops, and creative healing
tools like my oracle decks, my mission is simple: to help you stop chasing love and start
becoming it, for yourself.
This work isn’t about perfection. It’s about liberation. It’s about rewriting your story on your
own terms. And yes, it takes courage, but you’ve already done hard things. You’re still here.
Still fighting for something better. That matters.
So if you’re ready to break the cycle, to stop shrinking, to finally give yourself the love and
respect you’ve been taught to earn, you don’t have to do it alone.
Come find me at Soulfully Wild. Let’s start this next chapter together. And if you haven’t
read The Silent Abuse yet, it’s waiting for you on Amazon. No fluff, no sugar-coating, just
truth, healing, and hope.
P.S. I was recently named one of NYC Journal’s “Top 20 Female Entrepreneurs to Watch in
2024.”
Turns out, healing looks good on a woman who stopped settling. It’ll look just as good on
you.
